Luke Wee Tells You What Not To Include In Your Wedding Speech

Everybody loves a great speech. There is nothing like a room full of people hanging on every word you are saying, being moved to tears and having a good laugh.

Everybody loves a great speech, but unfortunately, not everybody is a great speaker.  Nor does everyone have the manner or appearance to command the attention of an entire room. That is where things can go wrong.

To be suddenly thrown into the spotlight can be quite daunting, and with all this pressure to impress the guests, some may rely on age-old cliches to get the crowd going. Some work, some don’t; others are pure wedding speech suicide.

Whether you are the emcee, the best man or the groom, these are things that you should avoid mentioning in your speech.

“Before Marriage, a man is incomplete. After marriage, he is finished.”

Hardy har har.

Marriage is a joyful thing. If you have been married a little longer, maybe you are a little cynical, and not as joyful as the newlyweds.  But for goodness sake, hold your cynicism till after the wedding. Nobody loves a wet blanket – unless, of course, they are wet blankets too. If marriage were truly the end, nobody would be walking into it.

“Mr Right, Mrs Always Right.”

Ugh. This one is so overused, and has not been funny since 2010.

Plus, it is obviously not true. Marriage is a partnership. It is about two people coming together, sharpening and refining each other. Both parties take turns to be right. Trust me, the woman does not always win, because no, the Missus is not always right.

“It’s all about the bride.”

No, no, NO!

A bridal boutique said this to me during our first appointment with them. Rolls eyes.  We did not sign with them.

I can imagine this saying was thought up years ago by well-meaning men to suggest their male counterparts give way to the ladies. This meaning, however, has been lost over the years.  Today, it just makes it sound like the women want all the attention, which is not true either.

Anything about “what happens on the wedding night”.

They’re going do it… or are they?

Sadly, the wedding night does not always have a happy ending. A recent survey of 2,128 newlyweds found that 52% do not have sex on their wedding night.  A quarter of whom admitted that it was because the groom was too drunk.

The wedding is also an extremely exhausting ordeal, and some couples can hardly find the time to eat. Is sex the first thing you will think of if you are both tired and hungry?  To assume that the couple will consummate on the wedding night may be a tad presumptuous.

There will be enough pressure on them to “do it” without you mentioning it. Have some class and do not mention this subject.

Anything that hints of any sort of emotional baggage.

A wedding is a celebration of a new life, a new beginning. The bride or groom (or both) may have painful relationships they wish to put behind them, and some wounds may require more time to heal.

It could be an ex, a friendship gone sour, an unaccepting in-law, or perhaps a strained relationship within the family of the bride or groom.

Everyone has baggage, but leave it to the bride, groom and their families to do the unpacking amongst themselves.

Conclusion

You do not have to be a natural born public speaker. You only have to be sincere, respectful, and most of all, a good friend. You are not speaking for the crowd. You are speaking for your friends, the newlyweds.

Join in the celebration with them, and speak from your heart.  Remember:  speaking on the most important day of their lives is an honour. Enjoy the moment, and don’t live to regret saying or not saying anything!

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Building a Financial Home

When starting a new life together, the building of a marital home goes beyond the physical. Senior financial consultant Joseph Tan, from OO Advisory Services, dishes out advice on  pre- and post-marriage financial planning. 

What Do I Plan Before I Plan For The Wedding?

A matrimonial union is one of the top three defining moments in a person’s life (besides the beginning and the End of Life). A lot of emotional energy is invested to make the wedding event unforgettable, and aptly so because we all see this as a once-in-a-lifetime
endeavour. To keep the beautiful process of planning a wedding stress-free with the aid of wedding planner Singapore service, financial planning lays the foundation on which we can build this experience.

What then, would be essential in this foundation? As with any relationship in any aspect, honesty is the best policy on which to build a strong base. Husbands and wives should be upfront about their existing debts so that the couple may take stock on what financial situation they will be in after their wedding. Clarity breeds confidence in helping the couple through any debt together. Moreover, being transparent and taking stock of your liabilities will prevent over-budgeting that might stress the relationship post-banquet.

Next up is to prepare for a Rainy Day Fund. Many might deem it unnecessary to have three to six months’ worth of their fixed expenses in cash savings, excluding what they will spend on the wedding or the home they will move into after that. The sticky situation of someone losing his or her job will disrupt the focus in the wedding preparations, thus the Rainy Day Fund will keep the couple’s romantic momentum and emotional state uplifted.

The Matrimonial Home Is As Important As The Financial House I Will Live In

It is daunting to feel that every big event in our lives will clear out our bank accounts – our glamorous wedding, dream home, and a baby’s arrival. But when we take a step back and find a balance between practicality and wants, you may find that you can come out of it a credible winner. Not just with a peace of mind about your financial stability but also the love that you build with your new spouse.

Is a 0.95 carat solitaire so different from a one carat one? Other than numerically, one can hardly see the visible delineation. Should I buy the designer chair, that I would probably only use for occasional guests, or use three-quarters of that amount to buy a couch that I would sit on every evening to read my Fifty Shades of Grey? If the price of a good is high but with an even higher intrinsic value, it is considered cheap, and vice versa.

It is important that average household expenses be 50 or 70 per cent of the net household income after CPF deduction. Any monthly instalment, loans or annual instalments divided must be summed up to remain within the confines of 35 per cent of your net income. Defaulting of these instalments would likely attract lawsuits that will distract you from spending quality time with your loved ones.

Fulfilling Our Dreams Together

Family planning and financial planning have a similarity: they require both husband and wife to work hand-in-hand with each other and a competent advisor. The imminent future entails short-term goals of career advancement, starting a family and purchasing a vehicle to facilitate your lifestyle. The distant future speaks about sending your children for tertiary education and retiring comfortably after a lifetime of hard work. None of these can be attained if not for the root of success: habit.

This habit must be consistently cultivated for happiness and success to be ultimately achieved. Micro-managing your finances might not be the best way to maintain a harmonious relationship; periodic tracking with a tinge of day-to-day awareness would certainly do wonders.

With proper planning for the wedding, both financially and personally, I believe that we can all have our wedding cake and eat it as well, don’t you think?