Everybody loves a great speech. There is nothing like a room full of people hanging on every word you are saying, being moved to tears and having a good laugh.
Everybody loves a great speech, but unfortunately, not everybody is a great speaker. Nor does everyone have the manner or appearance to command the attention of an entire room. That is where things can go wrong.
To be suddenly thrown into the spotlight can be quite daunting, and with all this pressure to impress the guests, some may rely on age-old cliches to get the crowd going. Some work, some don’t; others are pure wedding speech suicide.
Whether you are the emcee, the best man or the groom, these are things that you should avoid mentioning in your speech.
“Before Marriage, a man is incomplete. After marriage, he is finished.”
Hardy har har.
Marriage is a joyful thing. If you have been married a little longer, maybe you are a little cynical, and not as joyful as the newlyweds. But for goodness sake, hold your cynicism till after the wedding. Nobody loves a wet blanket – unless, of course, they are wet blankets too. If marriage were truly the end, nobody would be walking into it.
“Mr Right, Mrs Always Right.”
Ugh. This one is so overused, and has not been funny since 2010.
Plus, it is obviously not true. Marriage is a partnership. It is about two people coming together, sharpening and refining each other. Both parties take turns to be right. Trust me, the woman does not always win, because no, the Missus is not always right.
“It’s all about the bride.”
No, no, NO!
A bridal boutique said this to me during our first appointment with them. Rolls eyes. We did not sign with them.
I can imagine this saying was thought up years ago by well-meaning men to suggest their male counterparts give way to the ladies. This meaning, however, has been lost over the years. Today, it just makes it sound like the women want all the attention, which is not true either.
Anything about “what happens on the wedding night”.
They’re going do it… or are they?
Sadly, the wedding night does not always have a happy ending. A recent survey of 2,128 newlyweds found that 52% do not have sex on their wedding night. A quarter of whom admitted that it was because the groom was too drunk.
The wedding is also an extremely exhausting ordeal, and some couples can hardly find the time to eat. Is sex the first thing you will think of if you are both tired and hungry? To assume that the couple will consummate on the wedding night may be a tad presumptuous.
There will be enough pressure on them to “do it” without you mentioning it. Have some class and do not mention this subject.
Anything that hints of any sort of emotional baggage.
A wedding is a celebration of a new life, a new beginning. The bride or groom (or both) may have painful relationships they wish to put behind them, and some wounds may require more time to heal.
It could be an ex, a friendship gone sour, an unaccepting in-law, or perhaps a strained relationship within the family of the bride or groom.
Everyone has baggage, but leave it to the bride, groom and their families to do the unpacking amongst themselves.
Conclusion
You do not have to be a natural born public speaker. You only have to be sincere, respectful, and most of all, a good friend. You are not speaking for the crowd. You are speaking for your friends, the newlyweds.
Join in the celebration with them, and speak from your heart. Remember: speaking on the most important day of their lives is an honour. Enjoy the moment, and don’t live to regret saying or not saying anything!
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